I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

The amazing story of our friendship.

We have been friends since our childhood because our parents were all friends. So Mia (fake name again, who do you think I am? lol)  was like my sister. We grew up together until she traveled the world with her parents and her brothers. However, they always came to stay at my place every summer and it was soo cool. We used to do several activities. We even created a tradition - we used to create new recipes with a nice menu for the whole family and they rated our meals. Despite the distance, I always told her my life and so did she. She definitely came back two years ago to study in Paris. I WAS SO HAPPY. We celebrated our birthday together again for the first time after yeaaarrsss! We used to hang out a lot. It was my second year of "prépa" and I was really tired of my studies so it was cool to have her around. She was a real sunshine in my life. We even joined a music group together as singers and she was the one who encouraged me to be a part of the adventure. I think I had one of the best year of my life in a while. She supported me when I was really down, especially during my competitive national exams. I was a mess because I didn't manage to enter the school of my dreams. Whatever. Everything was good with this friendship, we shared the same beliefs and a thousand of memories, went to the same church, had common hobbies. 

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BUT THEN EVERYTHING WENT WRONG WHEN I ENTER MY SCHOOL.

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My school is one hour away from Paris, so I rented a flat. At the beginning, we kept talking on Whatsapp and all but then she stopped answering my messages. And everything went wrong in the music group as well. UGH. Then she decided to left it and didn't even talk to me about it. She was also getting closer and closer to someone I cannot bear. (But that's another story l). Oh and let's call her Stella because we are going to name her for the following anecdote. Writing about it suddenly made me sad. What makes it even worse is that, about 2 months ago, I was spending some time with her and then the youth group of our church showed up, INCLUDING STELLA (ugh) and a friend of Mia (Carly) was here too. She asked everyone their best qualities and their flaws, and I said that I didn't know about mine, because I don't like to talk about myself, ya knooow. So Carly asked Mia if she could answer this question because "you must know her" she said. And Mia just said "uhhhh..." and didn't answer. I first thought it was okay. Then I realized that Mia could answer the question concerning Stella. And my heart fell into pieces. I don't even know why I write about this here, but it is the only way for me to let it out as I cannot tell anyone.

The thing is, I don't even know if I want our friendship to go "back to normal" or if I simply have to let it go. I feel lonelier than ever.

love